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Posts tagged ‘life’

17
Feb

Luckily depressed!

“When you have inspired thought, you have to trust it and you have to act on it.”

Depression may be too strong a word to describe what I went through one time. But whatever that was, it’s one episode in my life that I wouldn’t forget because of its crazy, super busy, and intense nature.

Throughout that time, I allowed myself to draw and focus energies on my other capabilities when it was clear I bear no capacity for better judgment on a particular aspect of my life. In short, I kept myself busy.

Worth mentioning is the fact that I did more than the usual. It came to a point when I listed down all the things I engaged in or earned (no money matter) – small or big tasks, volunteer work, contributions, events, thank you’s, recognitions, etc. I categorized each item as to whether I gave the effort for, or if it’s something I received. Then I provided assessment on the satisfaction level the engagement or acknowledgment brought me.

If you’re truly desperate, it doesn’t hurt to keep score of all the things that will help you stay afloat.

Fighting the brewing negative feelings and trying to turn them into something positive and productive was no easy feat, as one would expect. But even if it’s physically exhausting, doing things for others in fact helped me broaden my sphere of  existence – where I lived in my own set of realities much of the time.

Then as the storm passed right before my eyes… it was amazing that I felt I didn’t really do anything to settle the real issues. After some time, things were falling into place; doubts faded naturally.

Certainly, this experience tells me that some of our problems and questions are better left unanswered. We cannot have it our way every time and neither can we force something to blossom before its time. But the more important thing I learned is that even in those times of deep personal struggles and challenges, we are still able to direct our energies towards performing acts of service for others. That way, we forget the “self” for a while and “reconnect” with the bigger sphere to teach us lessons on humanity, leadership/initiative, fellowship, and compassion. While it may rather seem avoiding the real issues at hand, I’d like to call it a kind of positive “transference” or “reassignment”.

The best thing about favors sent out to the world getting returned is, having the power to turn the negative energies into positive in ways limit-less.

The goal is to master my life in that direction.

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Have a great, great Today! :D